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tis blog BELONG Ling Xiang AKA XiaoJason

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Sunday, July 3, 2011

hmm..i finally back to blog again le..hahas:)

i have been mia from my blog for so long..

lols..

hmm..tis few day i reali cannot tahan tat frog face kwok liang le lor..

he became more worst and worst lor..

kns sia..

when i did nth wrong..and i am doing my job tat manager ask me to do so well..den in the end dun know wat happen to him lor..cme and scold me and say i keep use phone while i am working lor..but i nv lor..ccb sia..den he ask me to pass him my phone lor..

kns..den i talk back to him lor..i say dun want leh..

den after tat before he walk out of de kitchen..he point finger at me and say i am a useless crew..

ccb sia..

kns..heng i can control my temper sia..if not i will go punch him on his face le sia..

den he still keep insult my gd manager reali cannot tahan his tat frog mouth le lor..

he think he very useful meh..he think he smell nice meh..

pui..!!!!

he just a useless little ugly frog..only know how to eat insect and swim inside a pond..

jing di zi wa..

hahas:)

den i cannot tahan working in mac le la..i had already hand up de resingation form le..

hahas..tml going to for mac rider de interview le hahas:)

so exitced abt it sia..

hehe:)

hope can get in hgpt de hub..

hahas..today slp whole day lor..

now want go slp also hard sia..

how sia..

and nowaday alot of happy happen on me....

i am so happy...

i think i end here le bah..lazy to type le..

i miss all my friend in mac..

hahas:)

and also miss my manager...hahas:)espiecally surya and derrick..

just wanna have fun;

Thursday, April 28, 2011

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

hmm..today was like damm lazy to go work..i also dun know y..

but when i thinking i nid money..den i jiu must go work le..no choice..

today got alot of shit to do in mac..

clean tis and tat..

den make me now den finish work..and just reach hme..

hahas:)

just now at mac..i see how de kitchen change into..

so squezze inside..sian lor..nxt do kitchen will be like so hot and squezze...

later i want post up de photo i take..

show it how squezze its is..

so sian lor..

tml will be my off day..dun know whether to stay at hme leh..or go out..

so damm boring at hme de sia..

dun know wat can do lor..

only can watch tv and play com..other than tat will be like will be like eat and slp only.

lols..like tat i will become more fatter de sia..

sian..

lols..

hmm..tonight wont be sleeping early bah..

as got soccer match to watch...hahas:)my favourite team is on action(man utd)

its champion league semi-final..

(schalke vs man utd)

reali hope to see man utd win sia..

hahas:)de game will be damm interesting..

maybe after de game..will go down find derrick bah..

go pei him lor..since i also cant slp..stay at hme also very boring..

y not go down mac and find ppl chat..

hahas:)

mood is still de same...i also dun know y i will like tat..

how to dun like tat i also dun know lor..

so sian and moody...

feel so weird inside my heart...

hmm

post till here bah..going off to play game le..

tml will continue bah

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, April 24, 2011

today was like also same like ytd like tat..nearly late for work..wake up at 2.40pm..

lols sia..dun know y tis few day i am so tired sia..lazy to go work lor..

i also dun know y sia..

nowaday i found tat life is so boring..

today again doing mds..today i totally super lazy to work sia..damm tired..

lols..

hahas:) today whole day nv wear dao my cap sia..

manager also nv scold le..i am so surprised..

lols..

but if kl there i jiu will kanna scold liao..

hahas:)

i am so tired right now..

feel like going to off to slp soon le..

soon getting my bike le sia..hahas:)

cant wait to ride motor bike sia..

so long nv ride le lor..

hahas:) first thing i will do when i got my bike is to take off..then go find friend to go out rounding..

hahas:)

so long nv go out have fun tgt wid my friend le lor...

wait only..

tml again going to work..

so tiring...but no choice nid earn money to pay tis and tat..

sian..

aiya..i go slp le bah..tml will update again...

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, April 23, 2011

just wanna have fun;

Friday, April 22, 2011

hmm..i am finally back to my blog to post again..

so long nv post already...

hahas:)

so happy tat i had ord already..no nid to serve tat stuipd ns..but still nid to go for reserves...

so sian lor..

kns...hmm now currently back to mac to work...but soon going to resign le..going to buy bike den go and work as mac rider..my favourite job..

hahas:)

anyway just finish work not long ago..plus just reach hme not long ago only..

so tired sia..

i feel working in mac is like a dog lor..manager ask u do tis den u must do..ask u do watever shit u also must do..

plus i dun know wat happen to me...tis few day de mood no so gd..

keep thinking of past de thing..

so stress sia..dun know y my mind keep popping out past memories lor...

haiz:(

actually going back to study de..but in the end get myself into a course tat i dun like..i want to study office skill want lor..but get into a course tat i totally not interested in de sia..

so i had been keep trying to transfer to tat course but cant..so i quit de course and now will be keep working here and there lor..wait till got another intake de i try to see how lor..

should end here bah...

tml still nid to work...

just wanna have fun;

Friday, December 10, 2010

i reali long long time nv cme my blog to post le..

dun know y today feel like posting..

maybe tis few day...became stress and too many thing happen bah..

haiz:(

i been downgrade from Rank of SC TO Rank of VC in my NS

my life is very suffering le..

now tis thing happen again..

ppl around sub-courts is like thinking and saying me is a useless kid over there..keep doing nth over there..

only know how to smoke,eat and slack there..

haiz:(

do u all reali understand anot...is not i want like tat de lor..i wish to be like u all like tat keep walk here walk there do tis do tat..

but i just cant...

haiz..:(

no one reali can understand how i feel lor..

NOONE will k

in everyone life...once u had walk a wrong path or choose a wrong path to walk..

u will suffer for de rest of ur life..

like me now..

i am suffering..

who can reali understand my feeling leh..

y.y.y all tis thing happen on me..

trust a wrong person in my life and wat i get is retrubtion for trust ppl too much...

haiz..

life sux man..!!!!

i hate my life..!!!!

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

today was like going work early in de morning and its like nearly late for work..

as i like very tired..wake up at 0615 le..but go back slp again den was like when i wake up again was 0645..fuck man..

den i faster rush to brush my teeth and change up..

rush till like hell lor..

knn..!!!

super sian..

today was like going work just for half day..as afternoon i nid to go for my med checkup..

damm it man..after de check up..i ask de doctor whether can take out de metal pieces in my leg..

he say cant..its forever planted in ur leg..wow its like zi tao sian sia..

totally tired today..

tml working again...!!!

friday will be a public hoilday so gd sia..

hahas..

and i am finally back to blogging le..

so long nv blog le sia..

as last few mth no mood to blog..

plus now still de same..

haiz..

am i very emo??

sian..!!!

wat i had post in my blog for de past few mth...its a ll de true fact..

not bullshitting at all..!!!

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, September 12, 2010

hahas..

waiting for tis day to cme so long le wor..

i had get myself a iphone on sat morning..

wth sia..

i thursday go..no more stock..sell finish le..

den i friday go again before i go out wid my friend to watch movie...again dun have..

too late go and buy le..ppl around 7plus already queue up to buy le wth sia..

sinapore de cittzen is so kei si..scary of death

so early jiu go queue up le..

so sian...

no choice..its an emepty handed again..after tat i go and meet up my friend at vivo city to have our lunch at burger king...den after tat go and watch our moive le..

hahas..resident evil(afterlife)

we at first wish to watch 3D de..but vivo tat day dun have leh sian sia..

lols..

de show is damm nice sia..

hahas..

feel like watching it again..

lols

hmm..after watching de movie..we go shop shop awhile den jiu go back hme le..tired sia..

so sian also..

hahas..den de next day..me and my mum wake up early at around 6.30am...den we faster wash up and go over there to queue up le..

hahas..den around 10 we call up my brother to ask him faster wake up and cme...

as i nid to use his name to take contract plus iphone mah..

hehe:)

finally i got it..

hahas..

i am so happy now..after tat reach hme le nid to text all my friend tat i change no le mah..den when i typing de text message..i nv relise tat i type my name wrongly..hahas..

i type king instead of ling..

wth..den i send to all my frenz..and i recevied all de text asking me who am i..

funny right:)

hahas..totally a joke man..iphone4 is my baobei sia..after using tis money to buy iphone i got not enough money to buy my motorbike le plus i nid to eat grass le..so sian

nid to save all over again..so sian..poor ppl is alway liek tat..

but today..

i suddenly feel sad again..

i also dun know y..

haiz..

so sian..

maybe i dun have a fate to last long wid a gal i love bah..

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

today was liek i taking off to rest at hme..

but its like totally no mood at all..

from ytd till now..

thinking of alot of thing..

nan dao care and concern abt a gal tat i like got wrong mah?

care abt her...worry abt her...in the end she told me...u see she and her bf break up u happy le la..

haiz.

i will nv like tat de lor...

haiz..

care and concern abt her..in the end she like tat think of me...

i reali dun understand tis world lor..

gd person doesn't have a gd will and lucky

but bad perosn does have a gd will and lucky

sad is wat i can say now..

listening to song to make me awake...

and dun think so much...!!!

be a human in tis world is reali so xin ku and difficult...

haiz

do wat also got ppl dun like..and comment..

just wanna have fun;

Monday, August 23, 2010

Dun know y..??

suddenly feel like blogging again..

i feel like no noe i can talk to tis few day..and mth..

wish to find someone to talk to but den no one reali bother to..!!!

dun know y..

its like always got something tat make me remind of her...and cant stop thinking of her..

It was alwaes her kind heart tt attracted me to her..but..
its pointless to hang on..
cos i have never been in her heart tat i love.
its tearing me apart from inside..
but still, i have to move on


I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you'll appreciate them when they’re right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
I'm nt in yr world.
I've never did and I've drifted. Perhaps i sld've let u go long ago.Seeing yr smiles,
jus makes mi sho happy.
But deep inside,
I noe i cld never b e reason of yr happiness.

Even though we're drifed so far apart..dere isn't a moment i've stop tinking of u..
i noe tat u already had a bf..
for u're lk a shining star..brightens ppl's life..and I hope e person u love, loves u as much as I do..or hopefulli even mre..
I've never felt tis wae b4..never yearn for someone so much but didnt do anything but kept it in my heart.years back like last year..
when i tried it was a failure..
And I wouldn't dare try harm e frenship again ever since..Hao wu nai.. helpless..
but jus silently watchin by e side,hopin yr life is a great one..do u noe hw it feels..?

My heart feels lk burning now..

maybe its will take a very slowy time bah for me to forget her..

maybe nid to wait for my true luv to cme den i can forgot her bah

Time heals all wounds

Labels: hopefulli one dae i'll get u totalli out of my mind

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, July 24, 2010

ytd was like suddenly think of my past..

do u know y??

as i saw a mirror of mind ytd...

ytd my broz..ah long and his gf lynn...quarrel..

is like i saw my own old images..and angeline..

knee down in front of her beg her to forgive me...

den when she say want break up wid me...i like want to die liao like tat..

ytd my broz...jiu shi same like my last time...he climb up de latch over the top of de staircase corridor...

say want to jump down...but i nv use tis...i use bike to play my life to chase after my ex...as she want to go back hme...and ignore me..

haiz..

at tat point of time i reali very scare and dun wish to lose...is like ytd like tat...my broz also dun wish to lose her...as we had scarfice alot for my gf and his gf..

if lose her...its will be like end of the world for us...

den after tat its like my broz sent her go hme...talk to her on de way...its all de same as wat i had gone through before...

after ytd...tat gal confirm wont contact u..answer ur call,text u,reply ur text..anything also wont..

i can confirm wid tat...as they want to aviod u le...i had gone through tis before...tat y i say i saw my mirror ytd...

haiz..nan when ppl just done a small wrong..PPL jiu want to sentence us to death...nv had a chance to ammend it agaIN????

ytd all tis thing happen making me so emo again...firstly ytd is her birthday,after tat..saw my mirror plus my memorise wid her..

just a second of blinking...

haiz..

am i silly???

i reali dun know..

is all gal like tat..

everytime when want to break up..will give de same excuse..???

Is there any turning point for a person who had miss out a precious thing in there life or nv cherish well..??

Will they ever been given a chance again..???

but tis time round...they sure will do a gd job...wont miss out again..will they had a chance???

HAIZ...!!!

i dun know whether de present i give her ytd, she like it mah??will she throw away??
i reali dun know..

but no matter wat..

i will wait for u...i had been waiting for u for 11mth going 1yrs le...

i will nv give up...one day i will make u feel touched by me...

my love wont fate for u...will keep stay put.....remain a very deep love...

Mirror mirror...

wat i did to her is it worth???haiz:(

my broz...dun think too much:(

haiz:(

Love reali make ppl feel hurt all time...!!!!:(

just wanna have fun;

Friday, July 23, 2010

today is a day tat remind me of last yrs same date de thing...

i had been prepared for her birthday..nv slp and keep thinking and prepare thing for her and give her surprise..

tis thing is all last yrs thing on tis date (23.07)when we r tgt de..

today we r no longer tgt le..but den i still think of doing something for her birthday..

i brought her a present..and i sent to her hme...and ask her parent to pass it to her..

as i know u dun wish to see me at all...so i like tat pass to u..

haiz..reali miss all de happy memorise we had last time...

wish to sing a birthday song to u...be at ur side..

haiz...

but it cant be at all..

dun know y...today i so moody...reali cme have de mood at all...

eat also eat abit only..

as today reali remind of how i reali cherish u alot..wat i had done for u...

haiz..

cant i be given a chance from u..

i had waited for u...for 11mth going 1yrs le...

i reali miss u alot...miss ur voice and how u punish me when i tease u...

angeline,

i wish a happy birthday to u..!!!
wish all ur wishes cme true...!!!
grow one yrs older le..must be guai and tc gd care of urself k??

Hope u like de present i had given to u..

i will keep waiting for u to cme back to my side..

i know one day i sure can make u feel touched...!!!!

I LOVE U ANGELINE NG YI LIN...!!!!

MY LOVE FOR U WILL NV FATE..

ALWAY WILL WAIT FOR U DE LING XIANG

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

stress is back again...

ytd i had gone down to de probation office...for a interview..

haiz..is like he got an bad impression of me before start of interview le..

as he know i am a police officer but den i still do all tis stuipd thing..

i reali scared i cant be granted probation...

but all tis stress can share wid who leh??

de ppl tat i wish to share my everything wid is already gone from my side le...

cant cme back to my side anymore...

de ppl tat i reali wish they r at my side is my best broz:rickson...and also de most special in my heart de person is angeline ng yi lin..

i so hope tat she is beside me pei me...let me give out my stress wid her...share wid her...just wish tat she is there for me when i am sad...

haiz..

but all tis thing is just impossible le...

thing u nv cherish last time...i wont let u cherish u again...tis is wat she say to me...!!!!

haiz..

isit reali true tat thing u nv cherish last time..it wont give u a chance to cherish again mah??

is tis world so cruel to us..!!

ppl will make mistake...and nid to give a chance to amend it...

is it ppl tat do wrong thing nv cherish thing...its jiu cannot u-turn back and cherish it again..

haiz..


can tis world be fair to everyone...

stress up man...

who can pei me???

life is just nth but sux...reali???

i having bad luck from last yrs till now...

when den can i change my luck.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just nid someone to pei me through everything..

isit so hard...

haiz..

hope i reali can get probation bah...

i willing to change if i reali can get a probation...

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

today was like damm tired..

when i was working today at sub-court..keep want to fell asleep sia..

nearly only..if i fell sleep..i sure kanna scold again..

heng sia..

hahas..

finish work at around 7.15pm..so late sia..

so sian also..

tml working again at de boring cb place..

while i was on my way hme..i think of my past again..

i also dun know y i will think again...haiz..

its since to be like 11mth going 1yrs since me and angeline break up le...

time reali passes very fast..

and i still miss her chun zai at my side alot..

sometime was like i reali hope she was beside me...accompany me..

isit worth to be a faithful guy..??do u gain anything when u be a faithful guy??

i reali wonder tis question alot..

when i be a faithful guy for my last 8ex...treat them gd..cherish them..give everything i can to them..

in the end i get wat???nth but just heart damm pain..

so is been a faithful guy a very worthy thing??

can we be happy and have a last long relationship when we be a faithful person..

haiz..

wonder tis question for so long...

am i still going to be a faithful guy...i waited for her 11mth..since we break off till now..

am i still going to wait any longer..???

will i be happy if i carry wait..

will i gain anything if i carry wait..??

will she cme back to me if i carry on wait for her..???

will she got touch if i waited for her more longer???

haiz..

my mind is all abt question abt her...

haiz..

y i just cant stop thinking of her...y??i keep force myself not to think le...y i suddenly think back again..??

my mind is all abt tis word y and so much question...??

haiz...

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

today was like a normal day for me..

but still very sian..

i still cant do anything at sub-court...

still de same doing cctv,guard hse assitant...

so sian..

doing tis for de past few mth le...

haiz..

so sian..

i still nid to wait till 6aug..den i can know whether i can do other deployment le mah..

today after work while on the bus going back hme...

as i was boring on de bus...i take out my mp3 to listen..

dun know y...

i suddenly feel moody...and think of my past happy memorise wid angeline...

haiz...i already so long nv think of her le...dun know y suddenly think of her sia..

lols..

dun know y ...my head and heart like still got thing for me to stress of...but i dun know wat thing am i stressing of...

haiz..

anyone can lend me his or her listen ear...pei me...!!!!

i already lost a broz tat can alway be there for me de...

reali dun wish to lost him as my broz de lor...just because of an misunderstanding..make us became like tat..

haiz..

god...pls help me out...

i reali nid ur help...

:(

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, July 10, 2010

hmm...

i think i like so long nv blog le wor...

hahas..

as last few day or last few week...

i am down..i fell sick plus i got something nid to settle on..so i am busy..

anyway now everything had settle...i am not tat stress anymore...

i am glad tat everything has settle well...and i dun nid to go anyway le..

from last monday till friday...

i had nv been sleep well...i am have a sleepless night...as i am damm stress...

do u all know tat i first time attend court...de feeling is like so scary...so scary...haiz..

tis is my first time feel so scary and is de last time le..

will nv ever hapen again...

all de unlucky thing finally cme put aside le..

hehe..:)

maybe now i still got stress but den is stress abt my relationship and frenz de relationship de bah..

haiz..

actually my life is not wonderful at all..

can say 3/4 of my life is sad and 1/4 of my life is happy only...

haiz..

i also dun know y i like tat feel...

as i reali dun know wat to do le...

finally found out tat my gan ge...wei long had bring me a da sao sia..

WEI LONG AR..

LAST LONG WID HER K..!!!

when having wedding dinner time...must call me k???

hahas...

wish u two can be happy everafter....

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

hmm...

i am back to blogger le...so long nv post anything and update anything le..

lols..

haiz..

as each min passes by...i keep having a bad moment...

i also dun know y..

i losing alot of thing and ppl closes to me de..

am i reali have alot of bad luck in my life..

one by one leaving my sides..

am i reali tat bad...??

tis few day i reali dun know wat to do at all..

stress here and there..

making me no mood to do anything...

hardly can smile..

tat y tis few day and mth nv post so much thing at all..

how how??

anyone can be my lucky star???

i reali nid one..

stress abt alot of thing ar...

how..

my mind is going to burst of le...

haiz...!!!!

just wanna have fun;

Thursday, June 17, 2010

haiz..

today was like so unlucky lor..

Report to work at sub-court at 8.30am..

9am..den i know where i am deploy to...so want over to my deployment..

den kanna scold my one lao chu nu..

knn...u think i want to be late de meh??nobody tell me where i deploy to..so i tot is its de same as last deployment..

knn..like tat jiu want kpkb me..

suay sia today..

ccb..

den when i going to go hme le...

knn..my mother call me and i quickly answer de phone..as i though wat happen if not my mum wont call me de..

cb..kanna caught using hp by her...

and she scold me in front of alot of person...ccb sia..

tat stuipd lao chu nu supervisor...

say want punish me...lols..

reali very wat sia..abit abit jiu want punish..u think u wat meh...u r just an acting inspector only...wat big fuck r u man...ccb..go die la..

knn..other can use phone i cant...wat rules is tis sia..

fuck u la...

reali very unlucky today...anything i do today is like all unsucces de...

wth man..

reali very moody and stress and angry today man...

knn

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

its like so long nv post anything le..

as i tis few day is like so sian.. so stress up..

dun know how to express out here..

haiz..

dun know y am i became like tat...???

friend around me like forgotting me le...

go out...also nv ask whether i want join them anot..

especially yusof,jp,my mei(eunice),sharon and more sia..

i also dun know wat happen sia..

after i go in ns le...everyone like change to any person like tat le sia..

i just like been leave out le..

am i thinking too much???

i reali wonder???

haiz..

thing r reali out of my control...i reali dun know wat i can do..

i can only do wat i can to pass a single day just like tat..

haiz..

useless man..

knn..

last few day is like thinking of her??y keep cannot forgt her leh??

y?y?y?

salarly in ns been deducted..also dun know wat happen ...everyone over there also same as me..

tis mth i only get 4oo+++

knn...

no money le sia..

dun know when can buy ny motor bike sia..

reali wish to buy asap..

so sian when without bike..

lols..

world cup...season started le leh..

hahas...but tat fucking cb cb channel if want subscribe...its like fucking expensive(1mth=70++ after may u subscribe is (1mth=$94)

knn..its so expensive like sucking ppl blood of like tat sia..starhub and mio tv is like a vampire like tat sia..

but nvm den..

can go out chill wid frenz watch...hahas..

its a 4yrs 1time world cup...i had started betting...

first match i bet germany match..i won..

i will keep betting ...

hahas..

fun man..

lols...

doing all tis..is just want to keep my min d occupied..so tat i wont think so much thing abt her and my cases...

haiz...

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

today was like so sian..

when i wake up...my head is like got alot of needles poking...want pain till i want to die le..

fuck man..

but i still go to work..

keep tahan all de way through..

sian right..

den just now at work still kanna punish for distracting my supervisor when they r busy..

how i know they r busy ar...knn...i just want to know whether i can report off anot only..

like tat jiu punish me dun like me go hme early..

hate tat SI ALEX WANG PONG HOCK..

haiz sian..

i also cannot do anything...

just keep quiet only...

just reaches hme not long ago only...

head still pain till like shit..

fuck man..

cannot tahan anymore sia..later after eating my dinner will be going off to eat med..

if tml still pain till like hell..i will be take mc..i dun care sia...

hahas..

today...when i taking bus back hme...pass by a place tat me and her use to go...

i again...think of her again..

think whether now she gd anot..

think whether now de bf treat her gd mah..

think whether is she happy now or wat...

thinking alot just now when passes by tat places..

after awhile..

i was scolding myself...y am i thinking of tis again...i tot i say i want to forgot and put down everything abt her..

but i just cant control my emotions....

how???

am i very useless??

i reali wonder...

when den can i be back to happy de me...?????when den can i start a new fresh life again without stress and worries???

haiz..

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, June 5, 2010

its like one week like tat i nv post le..

as i am fucking tired after work everyday..and dun feel like blog..

only today i am free and not so tired...

so i had cme to blog..

wow..

time is like passes so fast...without looking at de clock..now is like midnight le..

so sian...

one day of weekend is just like tat passes..

i had done nth today but just keep working to earn money..

haiz..

sian man..

since like somone reali had stead le..and still love her stead alot.

i can feel in de way ur msn private had say..

seeing tis happen reali make me feel hurt and sad in my heart..

but i cant do anything..

i can only give u my blessing bah..

LAST LONG WID UR BF K...???XCHERISH EVERYTHING BESIDE U...??

anything nid help still can find me...i will be 24free for u...like de old time like tat...

stay happy(angelin)...i still there to wait for u...i wont give up even though u had a bf...

today was working at rite pizza...

lols..

like alot of order like tat sia...nv stop sending order when i start work...

today i get my salary...its like became more and more...hahas...tis time round i get $202..

my target of getting bike is by aug...my wishes is going cme true le...

hahas..

i reali wish to have a bike soon..

when i am sad or wat...i can bring my bike around to slack...go rounding alone or wid friend...

to let go my feeling..

tml going work full shift again..

i thinking i going off to slp le bah..

tml still nid to work..

maybe going move on le bah...to find my new life plus my new mrs right..

still thinking whether anot...and still thinking if i will want to tis thing...forgot her and move and my life and find my new mrs right...

can i do it anot???

haiz...!!!!!

MY LIFE IS FULL OF REGRET...

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, May 30, 2010

its like one week nv post le wor..

life is still de same lor..

so tiring and sian..

nth to do at all..

lols..

from friday till today was like damm tired...

keep working and working at rite pizza...just because of eaning more money to buy motorbike..

i am going to be crazy le sia..

but den busy working is also gd..

wont let me keep thinking of any stuipd thing..

sian lor..

tml is monday again...

hate monday to friday sia..

still left 8mth to go...to finish my stuipd national service

fuck man..

still so long sia..

haiz..

dun know wat i am toking now..

so sian..

so stress..

going slp early today again..

fuck..is like so long nv slp late le lor..

sian sia..

everytime slp so early like cannot play com till very late or watch tv till late lor..

fucking ns...

i hate lor..

knn..

sian..

gtg le...!!!!

just wanna have fun;

Monday, May 24, 2010

today is monday..

so sian..working at sub-court start again..

hate monday...love friday...

hahas..

friday is de best day ever had...as after tis day...can rest at hme le..can wake up late..

lols..

everything when de time cme to sunday...

its like my feeling suddenly so sian..so boring..

hehes...!!!

today at work was like damm boring..

doing nth all de way just to assit de guard hse sergent..

lols sia..

sit down there like an idoit

sian ar..

hate my supervisor alot..

all so fucking up de man...

end today wid alot of unhappiness and boringness..

lols..

tml is again a boring day and a tired day as tml nid to wake up at 5.30am..

sian right if u will me...

haiz...

still nid to wait till next yrs feb...den can end tis kind of life...

sian ar............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still have a long way to go...

but...

i still very stressed up wid my cases...

scared anything will happen to me...

i dun wish to have any bad record...

i still have alot of gd future in front of me...

hope they will give me chance bah...!!!

as i dun know anything ar all..i had been cheated by my cousin...

haiz..

stuipd to be so trustful..

lols..

going off to slp at around 10pm bah..

sian man..

tis kind of life is sux...

STILL WAITING FOR HER...!!!!

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, May 23, 2010

today was like damm tired..

going off to work at rite pizza at 11am...

den like not much order at all...and we like already do finish all de thing tat nid to do le..

so i sit down outside...sit till fell asleep...

so tired and boring...

finish work at around 6plus...reach hme..

like nth do sia..

eat dinner alone...do nth after tat..

start to think of something again...

is all de thing in my life nowaday going off smoothly for me mah??

my cases,
my friend,
my relationship,
happiness,

haiz..

still stress abt my cases...

reali scared anything happen to me..

god can u help me out...

i know i am wrong to trust ppl so much le..

tis is de mostly stressful thing for me now..

other stressful thing is....

(relationship)

thinking of de past..

am i tat useless mah???

i should had done much more thing den all de thing i had do..

i did cherish..but i should had cherish more than i could did..

haiz..

regretted...

i wish time can bring me back...i reali wish to be wid angeline again..

she de only hope for me to be happy...

haiz..

i will nv wake up in my dream...i still wondering around in my dream...

i am tat stubborn and stuipd???

reali dun know at all..

can anyone tell me wat to do??

i try to put down all de past thing le..

but i still cant..tat y i posting my feeling out here..

sadded...

stressful man...!!!!!

i scared i will go jail just because of my stuipd cousin put me as a scapegoat...

i still want to have a gd future...

tml going work at sub-court again..

boring day started once again...

I HATE SUNDAY...!!!!

I LOVE FRIDAY...

HAHAS...

Can ireali have a smile back to my faCE??

i reali dun know at all...

happiness to word is not in my dicionary le...

i had nv use to word for de past 9mth...

haiz...

happiness mean nth to me now...when she not around...!!!!!!!!!

nth can make me happy at all..for tis moment...

sian..

although i wish to have it but haiz...!!!!!

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, May 22, 2010

today was like waking up late...as today is saturday...

nv work so early today...today working at rite pizza 6pm...

so late right...hate to do night timing...cause sometime cannot see de block no...

lols..

but de gd thing to do at night was alot of order...earn more trip money...

hahas...

before going to work is like so lonely...staying at hme alone...doing nth..

everything when its like tat..

i will start to think of alot thing again..

especially..my mind will keep appearing her image and her thing..

i also dun know y..

after losing her...i like totally different...

friend like losing bit by bit le...

seldom go out to enjoy..cause no one call me up...

aiya..

alot of unhappy thing start to happen when she leave me..

haiz..

sad..

everytime was like alone staying at hme doing nth after work on monday to friday...

sat sun..when nv work...also stay at hme..

sian man..

tis kind of life is so sucking..

i reali dun know wat to do next le..

stress abt my cases..

reali dun know wat will happen next..

unlucky life of mind..

haiz..tml going work at rite pizza again at 11am..

must slp early today..but dun know can go off to slp mah...

sian...!!!!!

just wanna have fun;

Friday, May 21, 2010

today was friday...

from last two day till now...

dun know y...i like cant stop thinking of thing...

sian sia..

i go for my medical checkup le...doctor say my leg recover le...but still cant take out de metal piece in my leg..

reali damm sian...

de more longer to take out de metal piece...i will like suffer more on cold weather...

so boring..

finally cme to friday le....its take so long to cme to friday sia...

tml will be off and sun too...but den i still nid to go work at rite pizza as to earn money to buy IPHone and motorbike..

tis two thing is wat i can get for myself to let me be happy...as i dun have de a person tat is so important to me in my life le and lonely...

so only motorbike and IPhone can keep me accampany...

seeing someone tagging in my Cbox...

ya i agree wid i u say...i nv cherish u well enough...but i hope to have a chance once again...

i reali will cherish u well tis time round if u reali give me a chance...

u got bf anot is reali important to me...

if u had a bf...i will wish u all de best...last long...but i still will wait for u..

without u,i cant move on at all...i will always stuck somewhere else...waiting for u to sav me out...:(

tis is wat i going to say today...all tis thing is making me moody everytime...

i just forgot abt u...even i had try to let go..but i still cant...

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, May 15, 2010

today was like wasting time over at Police contonment center...

fucking lame in-service programm...wasted my whole sat time to go rite pizza work and earn money...

so sian sia..

at there listen to lame thing and do some lame thing...

wasted my whole day...

when i reaches hme was like around 5pm le..

den at hme...i feel like nth to do at all..

all i was doing de whole while tis evening till now..

was like staring at my hse de roof top...thinking and thinking..

haiz..

nobody reali can understand how i feel..

u all only will say i still very childish all wat..

but if u all reali went through wat i had went through...u all will know how i feel..

haiz..

am i able to wake up from de dream....

still wondering around in my dreamland...

lastly to say to angeline...-----

LAST LONG WID UR BF BAH...STAY HAPPY ALWAY....

just wanna have fun;

Friday, May 14, 2010

today was like so sian and totally no mood to concertreat on work..

so today work half way...i ask for a pm leave for me go hme to rest..

but when i reaches hme i got alot of thing nid to prepare for tml..

i nid go cut hair...polish my boots for tml..

sian sia..

tml is sat and i nid to go for extra duty...

totally spoil my weekend...

i can still go work at rite pizza de for sat but because of extra duty at sub-court...spoil all de thing i nid to do in weekend..

fuck sia..

wasted a day to earn money...

y am i still feel so moody leh..

from ytd till now le...

cant do thing well at all..

haiz..

still thinking of some much thing mah???

haiz..

my life still will be back to normal happy mah..

today go down to cut hair and i pass by mac...all de friend there see me like all dun know me like tat...

i say hi to them...they didnt even talk to me..

all forgot me le bah...

haiz..

y everyone changes so much after i had gone in ns...

i am reali so easy to forgot as a friend mah...

haiz...

my life is full of stress.....

after so many thing happen...

just wanna have fun;

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Tis few day i was like fucking tired...

i also dun know y sia..

keep oversplet in de bus...

sian sia...

dun know wat reali happen to me..

i feel so useless...

y i am so useless sia..

keep cant put down all the past thing..

say want to put down but i keep trying and trying...still cant put down...

haiz..

nan dao..i reali is a person tat dun deserved to go love a person..as i can luv but when can to put down...i just a disappointing ppl...cant take up and hard to put down..

haiz..

i reali dun know wat i reali can do le..

heard tat she got bf le..

i suddenly like break down again...

do thing like keep do wrong thing..

friend around me also stop finding me le..

i like so lonely..

everytime also alone...

sat,sun keep stay at hme only...

y is all tis happening to me in my life leh..

i reali dun know..

haiz..

sian..

reali very shag in my life now..

dun know wat i can do to stop all tis happening to me..

who can reali pei me to chit chat leh..

lent me a shoulder...and listen ear..???

haiz..

no mood at all sia...

tired le...going off to slp le..

everyday was like eat,slp,eat slp...

no friend to ask me out or no one can pei me..

after she left me...

everything in my life is like change...

quarrel wid my best friend over a small thing..

having a police cases..

bike accident..

money no enough to buy a new bike or use..

is like all unlucky seen to start again...

haiz..

friend where r u all...y u all stop finding me le...

am i no longer ur friend..???

haiz..

thinking alot of thing tis past few day and week..

head like going to burst off le...

sian

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, May 8, 2010

ytd like too late slp le wor..

today late for work...and like very lazy to do anything when i reach my work place there..

i also dun know y..

lols..

mon to friday is already like damm tired of working le..but sat sun...also must go work..

no choice sia...nid money to buy a new motor bike...

haiz..

if i am in a rich family...nan you dou hao ar..

so sian..

today was like suddenly very moody sia..

after watching so romatic tv show...

think back something again..

haiz..

i know i shouldnt had post all abt my past de thing here..

but den i cannot find any friend tat can cme out and chit chat wid de..

haiz..

lonely guy..

tml still have to work again..

going off slp le...if not scared will late to work tml..

tml after finish work...will faster rush back hme to watch soccer sia..

last match in de epl tis season..

MAN UTD SURE WILL BE DE CHAMPION OF TIS SEASON DE...

dun know y...

my mind like nv ever can rest well before de...

keep thinking here and there...

haiz..

mind will keep thinking of alot of thing..

my cases,
abt her,
ns de thing,
friend de thing,
relationship,
study,
family,

stress man...

dun know when den can i rest my mind and relax it...

and keep smiling without having any stress and saddness...

when den tis kind of day will cme...

where is her...

seeing her msn nick like she got a bf le..

haiz..

i will nv be de one tat can make her smile and i will nv be de one tat can hug her,kiss her,take care of her and protect her le..

she got someone who can do tis to her...

anyway i already know tis,since tis date le...(120809)

i am just keep on lieing to myself only..

haiz..

dun know when den i can wake up..

tis i reali dun know..

maybe i nid someone to pull me up...give me an helping hand..

who would it be leh???

just wanna have fun;

Friday, May 7, 2010

today was like tiring...wake up early...just to go work at sub-court...monday to friday alway so tired..

but i still keep tahan and tahan..

now...

other thing for me is to tahan waiting for her...see i even can tahan de tireness of working there le..and keep doing de pulling gate..

y not cannot tahan leh..??

now already 8mth le... going to be 9mth waiting le...12May2010 will be 9mth le...

i will keep wait...

ya...i got try to forgot her...put down her..

but when i go for other gal...

i just cant get serious to tat gal i had found..

trying alot of time le..after she broke wid for for around 2mth plus...i start to forgot her...heal de hurt i had...change everything in my character..

but i still cant get serious in relationship wid other gal..

if like tat...i rather dun want to find other gal...cause like tat will make both party to be hurt deeply..

right...??

y luv a perosn is easy but when cme to put down and forgot a person is so damm hard leh..

realising tis for a quite a long time le...

reali hate myself sometime...

nv cherish thing in front of me..now regret also like too late..

all had gone from my side...

stuipd and dumb me...

haiz..

anyway just back from having dinner and also can say is supper bah..

hahas..

had gone to resturant eat dinner wid parent..

celebrating mother day early today...actual date is on sundey(9May2010)

lols..

today had taken an half day leave just to go hme rest and den go celebrate mother day

shark fin...

i love to eat so much...lols..

tml had to go to rite pizza work again...

hahas..

feel so shiok and relax when working there..

now waiting for jp and zhong wee to cme and slack tgt at my hse here..

hahas..

still cant slp yet..

dun know y sia..

gtg...listen to song le...

feel quite happy today...

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

today was like damm boring over at sub-court...

reali feel like sleeping but i cant...

haiz..

having only 30min of lunch break only...

knn..

reali unfair to me..

so sian..

thing r going more and more worst in my life le..

i like going to cannot tahan anymore..

feel like going to give up...

can say is..because at my side...

no one care abt me and support me..

after she leave me...thing in my life keep happening in a bad way...

nth gd cme to me at all...

reali...

cant get my life back to happy at all..

although sometime i will keep smiling..

but in my heart there alot of thing for me to stress of...

thinking if i had u by my side...tat could me a lifeline for me...

haiz..

but its impossible...

y am i thinking so much..

thing r reali going wild in my life..

nv expect all tis will happen in mylife...

cousin betray me...and make me as a scapegoat..

she leave me..

maybe now she have bf le i also dun know..

life reali nt getting better for me...

haiz..

saddded...

who can help me out...

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, May 2, 2010

today was like damm damm tired den before sia..

lazy to go send order...

weather is so damm hot...

like will burn u till death like tat sia..

i wish it could rain heavily...

let have and windy day den...

lols..more shiok den stuipd fucking hot sun..

sian ar...

tml will be going back to suffer at sub-court le..

do gate for 3day tis week...so sian...

2 day of doing cctv...

fuck right..

no choice denn..

lols..

very fucking tired right now..

ppl around me totally change...

i also dun know y...

i alway feel tat way..

haiz..

alway think alot...

reali dun know wat i can do to prevent all tis happen....

reali very scare and sian..

how..

where can i find more money to survive and de luv gal i want to survive leh..

haiz..

reali very shag living in tis world..

suffering start tml..

sian..

heard of doing gate...i reali very scared...

feel alone over there...lonely...

time passes slow over there...

but wat can i do..

nth...

useless right...

just wanna have fun;

Friday, April 30, 2010

today was like a boring day to tahan through at sub-court...

pulling gate once again...

seeing ppl around there...keep walking around look so busy...

i feel so sian...

i also want be like tat again....but still got how long more to go i must do de gate...

i dun wish to slack all de way through my ns life...

i want to work hard...

haiz...

thing is reali unpredictable in tis world...

if thing want to happen..its will happen out of sudden de without letting u know or wat de...

so u will nv had de chance to prepared hao hao...

so sian...

world is so unfair to everyone...

i had nv predicted tat my cousin will make me as a scapegoat...in the end its happen out of sudeen..

haiz..

reali cant say anything when its happen...

when its happen le...

u will get shocked and keep asking urself...y u nv ever had ask urself all tis thing...and have myself prepared hao hao leh..

regret is wat normally person will feel...

haiz..

sian..

living in tis world is full of suffering...

just wanna have fun;

Thursday, April 29, 2010

haiz..

today i was kanna socloding by my big superior over there...

cb sia..

he say me is an ns dog man...

wat they say we must do...

if i want disobey their order...i will suffer there...cb right..threaten ppl

knn.

fucking idoit sia..

they like tat scold me i also cant do anything sia...

haiz..

fucking life sia..

if i could choose to...i would choose to die...although is a childish and inmature thinking...but i reali wish to die lor..if carry on my tis kind of life style...

i reali cannot tahan man..

pls la..

if its is not a rule of singapore tat everyman passes 18yrs old...

i wont want to go in serve tat stuipd cb ns de lor..

knn..

haiz..

fucking sad man..

who can cheer me up and pei me...

tml is another day of pulling gate..

reali very tired of tis kind of life..

who can make me smile when i had finish off from my work...

still thinking who can...

maybe only she bah...

other than tat i cannot think of anyone le..

but she wont be there for me bah...

haiz..

sadded..

i am just a lonely bastard guy...

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

today was like damm tired...when i was working...i keep fell asleep..

sian sia..

working there was like more and more cannot tahan le..

haiz..

but i also cannot do anything..

reali very shag man..

everyday was like keep thinking..

i am left alone...only left parent???

friend and de gal i luv...is like have gone far far away from me..

i reali feel very lonely...

my phone was like damm silent...

when ring also parent tat find me...

friend and her like very seldom find me le..

i am left alone just like tat..

is it i got problem in my character or i am irratating...

haiz..

i will change...i will prove to everyone...i am not irratating and i am a nice guy..

i had nv irratat ppl before after since angeline had left me...

cause i say tat i will prove to angeline tat i had change alot for her...i will to prove tat i worth her to love me...

In tis world...a person tat had been left alone and without a friend or a gal tat luv him...

is very damm tat loenly and sad...

even if u r rich...u also will feel lonely tat no friend is around and ur love one...

i realise it....

haiz..

life is full of stress and saddness...

when den can i feel happy...

i reali dun know...

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

sian...

today was like damm damm tired...

reali cant move around lively...like before..

my life is like getting more and more tired le..

lazy or dun have de energy to move around le..

haiz..

am i reali tat irratating...???if yes i will change for sure...

suddenly...my life is like became meaningless and lifeless...

anything tat i had done or doing everyday was like very meaningless and nth to me...

i reali dun know y i became like tat...

last time i am not like tat de...

dun know isit when de day i lost angeline or wat had happen den i had became like tat

i reali dun know..

who can cheer me up...

i reali nid someone tat understand my feeling now de...pei me at my side now...

haiz..

who can help me up...

i reali nid help now...

sian...

tiring life...going off to slp le...

although i am tired...

i dun know i can reali fell asleep well mah...

scared will have a night mare or think too much thing le...

making me to grow more white hair...

so many stress thing in de world for me to stress of in my life..

sadded...

is like i had nv happy before...

do u all realise tat???

lols...

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, April 25, 2010

today was like waking up late...

when i wake up i realise tat i going to be late for work le...fuck sia...

den i faster rush up and go bath and brush teeth...

sian...ytd too late slp le...lols..

nxt got work must slp early...

hahas...

sian ar...

keep having alot of problem in my life...family problem,relationship problem...and more ar..

haiz..

fucking life...

no one reali can make me happy...only a gal tat i had keep mentioning...nv can able to bring back de smile i alway had when i was wid her again..

haiz...

family problem is becaming more worst and worst..

my daddy change damm alot..

no longer like my last time de daddy...

i hate my now de daddy...

sian...

tat y i say...i cannot stay at hme...stay at hme making me stress and sian...

going out...also dun know who to go out wid...

friend some of them working...not free or ns....de gal i wish to go out wid...also change alot...dun wish to meet me up..

haiz..

everyone around me change alot...

alot of them r different from last time..

y r tis happening...

i reali dun understand...

tml working again...dun know whether going to do gate again anot....so boring...

today working at rite pizza..was like damm busy....lols...

but den i still got time to snatch hme to go bath and relax awhile...hahas..

naughty right...

lols..

was very funny just now...

gtg slp liao...tml waking up early to work...

sian ar...also feel boring and sian when cme to monday to friday...

sian...

tired...

fucking life of mind...

just wanna have fun;

Friday, April 23, 2010

ytd was like so damm tiring after work..

when i reaches hme...faster go bath and eat dinner...

den after tat...go play com for awhile ..

and saw alot of thing...

haiz..

i also dun know y she want avoid me sia...

i nv do anything wrong leh..

nv text her for around 4 -5 day le...den she just like tat say...

haiz..

suddenly no mood to play com le...so i jiu i go lay down on my bed...den jiu fell asleep le..

sian..

my life is full of unhappiness and stress..

where is angeline...

i nid her...

ytd at work place there...pulling gate...and i go through all de text tat me and angeline is texting last time...

i see le...reali feel like crying...cause the thing we had before...nw all lost le...

i reali regret...i had done many thing wrong...

i nv cherish her well...

from tat time till now...

i reali change alot le...

i am not last time de me le...

i will prove to her one day...

haiz...

going of to work now le...

hahas...

still stress and sad...

who can pei me chat leh...??

haiz...

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

haiz..

TODAY WAS LIKE TOTALLY NO MOOD.........

LIFE SUX MAN...

I AM HAVING A LONELY....

everything is so realistic in tis world..tis world is without lie.everything turn out 2 be de real 1.its mean its real want..no matter hw u going 2 try 2 change.its will nv change.every1 in tis world is going for a handsome guy or a pretty gal.too realistic le or GO FOR perfect thing.y cnt be tgt 4ever just because u all luv each other like tat jiu cn le in tis world there unhaving any perfect thing.y must be so choosy.haiz

life in tis world is like hell....

everything is so realistic...(xian shi)

ugly guy or ugly gal or not rich enough no money de...has reali no place to stay in ppl heart or ppl to luv u...

tis is wat the world r...everyone go for perfect thing...handsome,nice or pretty or see whether u rich anot....

haiz...

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

today was like damm angry lor..

i already say to my boss le...

i cant carry heavy thing and pull heavy thing le...

they still put me at de slide gate there pull there fucking cb gate..

when did i became ur gate dog...

cb sia...

knn..

ya i having a stuipd police cases...but den i nv done wat the police had told me...pls la...my case still pending..

u all jiu already anyhow spared and sentence me...

cb sia..

tis kind of sir...fucking lousy man..

knn..

i angry man...but i cant do anything...

still have to move on...

but move on like tat...i dun know i can tahan till when sia..

if can end my life more gd ar...as having tis life is reali very tired and fuck up..

haiz...

only one person tat can make my day bright up...if only i had a gf tat luv me and care abt me alot...

haiz..

but i dun have...

so my day is like getting more and more worst..

tml still nid wake up early again...

tml is do lock-up duties...

again being deploy to cctv officer sa...

fuck right...

i had been doing tis for de past 1mth plus le...

cb sia...

knn...if my boss were me la...everyday been deploy to de same station...treat me like a dog

they also will have a same feeling wid me...

right???

haiz...

ppl getting there rank in ns...but i nv gt...

just because of my cousin...

knn sia...

drag me into all tis...haiz..

sadded...

dun know wat can reali make me happy in my life..

just wanna have fun;

Monday, April 19, 2010

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, April 18, 2010

today was like a fine day for me...

but until around 6pm...de weather start to rain...

so sian..

althought is a gd weather...as from de whole morning till eveing time is like damm hot...but den after tat rain...

tat make me feel cooling...but den i was working...fuck dangerous when its rain...

lols...

today was like so tiring...

fell like going to fell sick le...

my back bones there is damm pain..till i also had headache...

now body feel so hot...

is like going to have fever le...

so sian...

tml maybe going to report sick...

still at hme...and let my sickness to recover....den go back to work when recover...

lols..

so long nv report sick le..hope can have more day of mc...

working at sub-court making feel damm sian...

gate and gate...keep being deploy to pulling gate...

cb right...

lols..

haiz...

now i saw her(angeline) online...but i dun dare to talk to her...cause i scared later she block me up...

den no chance to see her online again...

is tis call coward...

but i just very scared...even tis online in msn...i also cannot see le...

haiz...

so sian...

so stress...

fuck man...today end work late...make me buy bu dao...webcam..

so fucking cb...

sian man...

now feel so xin ku...

whole body feel damm hot...

haiz..

if she still de person tat i had known from last time...she will be at my side and care abt me...

but haiz...

nobody now will care abt me...

fucking lousy life of mind...

haiz...

just wanna have fun;

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, April 17, 2010

today was like so happy...

get my salary at rite pizza today...

tml going off to buy webcam and dye hair...

hahas...

just finish chatting wid daphne cheng wan ping...

lols..

chat wid her make me feel more relax le...

and i found out something...

tat make me feel sad...

yuan lei lala...find me irratating...

fuck sia...i nv ever will irratate ppl le...i say so many time le..

i had change...

haiz...

nvm den if she want like tat think den forgot it...

haiz...

still miss angeline alot alot...

wish to text her...but i dun want to ....

cause i dun wish to disturb her...

today was like a tiring day for me...

work full shift in rite pizza...

and i think i today sent around 12-14 order...

sent here and there without resting...

now my backbone there start to feel pain again...

dun know y sia...from last time till now...its already like tat le...

on monday will be going off to see doctor bah...

see wat happen to my back...

lols..

tml again going off to work at rite pizza...

feel happy when working there...but working at sub-court make me feel so sian and boring...

still worry abt my case...

hope nth will happen to me...


still having lot of stress in my mind...

so sian...

althought...now i feel abit happy...but den for awhile nia...

later will feel stress and sad again..

i also dun know y..???

so boring...

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

thing r getting worse for me bah...

now i feel tat i at sub-court is just a extra person man..useless person there..

haiz..

i now at there can only do pulling gate all tis stupid stuff...

maybe also will kanna transfer to other divison too..

its all because of i have a police cases..

cb right...

my salarly also like keep decreasing le..

till cannot get any cent..

cb right..

haiz...

getting more and more stress..

reali nid her to be at my side...

day by day passes by...

my life is like getting more and more worst..

i hate tis kind of life sia..

haiz..

got anyone can help me out mah...???

reali very stress up man...

just wanna have fun;

Monday, April 12, 2010

feel more and more boring over working at sub-court...

wish to faster end my ns life man...

its damm shag man...

fucking suxx life...

knn...

hate my life man...

everyday was like doing de same thing over there...

shag ar...

wid so many stress in my life...

without her...i just reali like nth...

i cant do anything wid a happy mo0d when without her...

she just a important person in my life man...

everyday was like doing thing meaningless and lifeless...

wth right...

haiz..

wat i going to tell u is...

even if u ignore me...dun wish to contact me...

i still will luv u alot...wait for u...

i will prove to u tat i am a different person from last time le...when de day u forgive me and contact me back again...

u will see a different me...hope tat day u will accept me once again..

wat i say now i surely will do it de...

change is wat i will do...

haiz..

life is sux man..

reali dun know wat i can do everyday....sian dao siao

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, April 11, 2010

today was like wake up early in the morning around 10am...

as i nid to go rite pizza to work...fuck man...today de wheather is damm fucking hot...

so sian sia..

hate to see de wheather so hot sia...

keep going to be burn to death like tat lor...

wth...

working there is quite fun...hate monday to friday...working at sub-court is like hell to me...

working there is de place i can relax or staying at hme or going out wid friend...den is like a heaven to me..

hahas...

working over there...making me feel relax and wont think so much...???

sian sia..

today i look into mirror...???my white hair growing out again...

sian half lor...

wth..

nid spent money to buy hair dye again..

i already short of cash to use le lor..

wtf man...

money money....nth in tis world is dun nid money de...

without a love u already die till like jialet le...

so more without money...u will like been cut into pieces like tat more jialat den die ar...

haiz..

sian...

When is my fate is coming???

hope is soon bah???

just wanna have fun;

Thursday, April 8, 2010

today was a fine day for me bah...

wake up early and reach work place early...

heng nv late again..if not kanna scold again...dun like to have a feeling of being scold by ppl...

so everything i doing now must do well...and properly...

if not haiz.. like i keep kanna scold by angeline like tat...

now want let her scold and hear her voice also cannot le...she ignore me till like hell...

haiz..

around like going 1mth again...ignore me...and my phone is damm silent since she ignore me...

dun like to have a feeling tat my phone is silent...

without her...

i am just nth reali.....phone is silent...no where to go...

can i reali put down on her...tis is still a question man..

i already like suffering without her le...

can i still put down on her???

haiz...

still waiting to have an answer from tat...

today was like going back hme early ...

as i had an medical appointment again...

next week will be de last time of appointment le...

lols...

so sian...

tot of keep going for de appointment den can have an excuse of being not to work till so late...can let me off early...

hahas...

lazy right...lols..

thinking of changing my phone to a better phone..

but now think...and think...

also seldom ppl will contact me...phone is alway so silent...

y must i go and change,,and waste money leh..

haiz..

so sian...

de day when i without her till now...

everyday is suffering...even if i try to put down on her...i also suffering alot..

haiz..

reali dun know wat to say and do....

dun know when den i can be happy back....

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

today was like so tiring man...

overslept and make myself late for work...

still nid to go explain y i am late...fuck right...

so sian man...

doing de slide gate again...fuck la...everytime also i do...

heng ar...tml will be working half day only...nid go for therapy appointment at ttsh...

hahas...

so shiok..no nid stay at de stuipd hell place....

lols..

sian tat...

everynight keep dreaming abt de same thing...

i like cannot dun have thing to do sia...nth for me to do..i will think alot alot...

haiz...sian right

i like long time nv go to watch movie le...

sian till like hell man...

after i go in ns...and after i quarrel wid my best broz..lawrance...

till now i haven gone for some movies trip...

so sian..

i suddenly feel so lonely...

i also dun know y...

am i thinking too much??????

should i let go of her and everything..

and start a new life...?????

i reali dun know..

very confused..

my phone is like once again...

very silence...nv ring at all for de past few day and weeks..

haiz...

just wanna have fun;

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

sian sia...

today was like damm angry lor...

at my work place there was like keep deploy me at de slide gate there pull de gate lor...

fuck sia..

so unfair...

ya la...i know i am on light duty...but also dun nid everytime me sitting down there pull wat...

my leg also not broken la...

cb...

fucking damm angry lor...

dun know wat to say la....cb..knn if i outside see them i sure fuck them till like hell de sai..

knn...

heng is tat i cant do anything at my work place there ar...knn...at there i must respect them...if outside see them...i wont respect them de ar...

cb..

tml still doing de same fucking deployment sia...fuck right...

angry till dun know wat to post liao...

haiz...sian...

wish to faster leave tat fucking hell place and dun wish to see tat fucking ppl there...

just wanna have fun;

Monday, April 5, 2010

today was like damm tiring...

ytd night was like kanna wake up by nightmare...

haiz...sian

thinking of her(u all know who am i thinking de) and my own thing too much le...

after de nightmare...i was like keep thinking and thinking...

thing reali r not longer de same as last time le...all like slowly slowly change...

is like everyone around me is change...and thing around r changing...

thing tat i want not longer can get le...

haiz...

my life is like when i born out till now..i had nv been happy before...

u know tat until now she haven forgive me or talk to me mah...

its like going 1mth le leh...sms her she nv reply...

reali dun know wat to do lor...

stress man...

SHOULD I LET GO OF HER AND MOVE ON???

i reali dun know...

today is a bad day again...end work damm late...

very sian and tired now...

hope later wont have nighmare again bah...

say seriously...

wat i nid now is angeline only...but i know i cant have de...

loving a person u will feel hurt...letting ppl love u and care abt u...u will feel xin fu and have a very happiness day everytime...

dun know y sia...one small thing she can quarrel till so big...

i only add her friend on msn and facebook only...i add le...also nv talk to them or wat so ever...

she like tat also want angry...

reali dun know wat happen to her...last time she wont like tat de..

regret regret...

sian

my day is like from bad to worst le..

my only happy time now is working at rite pizza...

den rest was like shit...as i am without angeline ng yi lin at my side..

haiz..

reali hope will have a day she will see my posts..

but when i hope tis will happen..other side i will think..

she see le..she will only say i act ke lian..but i nv sia...i stating de fact tat i nid her alot..

if its last time de her...she wont say tis..but now de her...haiz...

haiz.......

stress is wat i am having now .....

there is nth tat i can be happy abt.....

if get miracle cme true...

den i will be happy...

just wanna have fun;

Saturday, April 3, 2010

hmm...

today was like totally sian...

parent all go overseas...i am all alone by myself...

more sian tat...

ppl sat no nid to work at sub-court...my team nid to work..

wake up in the early morning just to go there work...so boring and tired...

finish work at around 3pm...sian right...burn my whole sat...

reach hme le...is like i alone at hme doing nth...

haiz sian...

if she is around and have already forgiven me...tat will be de best...i for sure will ask her accompany me de lor...

at hme damm boring doing nth just watch tv and play computer game...

is like hell of boring thing...

haiz...

now i alone at hme...i think alot..

i realise tat nth is forever in tis world...i will nv say forever tis word out to ppl le...is like say le also meaningless...

wat is going to leave u will for sure leave u...

no matter wat u had say or try to make thing to stay...its still cant help at all...

haiz...

and i also realise something...

wat u want de most u surely cannot get it even if u try ur best and even if u think of an ideal to get it also wont done much thing...wat u dun want de mostly...for sure will cme to u...u no nid to do anything at all also will cme to u..

and i saw something tat make sense and meaningful in my friend de msn nick...

(its take a moment to fall in love,But its take a lifetime to get over everything tat has happen in ur life)

its just another meaning in love relationship...

one more is...

love a person is easy but when cme to forgot a person...its damm hard like hell..

its will make ppl suffer when cme to forgot a person..

loving a person is a happiness thing but den when a gal or a guy say break up...

its totally hurt man...

haiz...

dun know sia...

stressful....

damm boring when u r alone...

sian...

finding friend to go drink beer and relax is like all so busy...

haiz...

sadded sia...

my feeling now is like so numb le..

dun know when den can be heal up

sian dao sia...

lols...

dun know wat i am thinking now...

angeline is like totally ignoring me le...

haiz..

dun know when she den will forgive me...

today i was totally alone...

nid her pei me but she still haven forgive me at all...

haiz..

dun know who can ask to pei me le...

sadded right...

i am just so lonely...

just wanna have fun;

Thursday, April 1, 2010

so sian...

today was like so shag...tot today can have my leave and rest at hme de...as i requested for it at de last three week...

but in the end is like cannot get...den i like bo xim to work lor...slack here and there...lazy to do thing as i am damm tired sia...

sian...

after work today was like faster rush hme...nid to go amk there find kenny,saoyi...long time nv meet them up le...since they today ask me out...i tired also must go...as stay at hme also nth do...

so meet them go play pool and have dinner tgt...

sian...

after meeting them...was like so happily chat...

but after tat i received a call from someone and told me tat a gal tat i wish to stay afresh wid..and forgot angeline de...

had patch back wid her ex...

i was like out of sudden very shag and sian...

i have been giving high hope by her...now is like from a very high mountain drop down...and die without anything happen...

haiz..

i dislike tis kind of feeling...ya i say i want to forgot angeline...i trying now...and i found somone say tat giving me a chance

i tot i can start wid her...and trying to forgot all de past painfulness...

but now...

haiz...

back to zero again...think of angeline once again...

haiz...

y everything keep going bad to worst for me...

am i alway tat unlucky...???

haiz..

cant slp all today...

just wanna have fun;

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

today is still de same...

full of stressness in my head...

so sian...tml i tot can have my leave but in the end cant...fuck up sia...cb

i found something meaningful today...

最后一次微笑着入睡是什么时候。。？ 我在也不记得了。。
多谢你的狠心。。让我学会死心。。
脸上的快乐别人看得到。。
心理的痛，又有谁能感受得到。。?
不是不死心。。
是死不了心。。
你知道吗。。？
真心理伤心最近。
我想哭。。
可是我已经不知道怎么流泪了。。
喜欢一个人没有错..错是在喜欢一个不喜欢自己的人。。
没什么过不去。。
只是在也回不去。。
原来只是我一厢情愿吗。。？
我还在原地等你。。
你却以忘记成近来过这里。。
我不在乎你对我的。。不在乎。。
难道我只是一个路人甲吗。。？
看着别人的故事，流着自己的眼泪。。

Labels: 心理的痛，没人明白。。

just wanna have fun;

Sunday, March 28, 2010

so sian...

all de long from last wed till now...

we had nv contact le...

haiz..

still angry me bah..

dun know whether to forgot her and move on anot...

try for de past 6mth le...to put down her and go for other or move on my life...

but haiz..

love is something in life tat needed...

but sometime is like making ppl stress and sad..

haiz..

sometime when i see some couple out there hug here and there...

remind me of her...remind of how we hug..

y cant i forgot abt her leh..

she no longer de person i know le...

haiz...

love isit alway like tis...

reali realise tat love sometime make ppl damm crazy...

without love life is like nth...

reali..i nv lie...

although i already change alot le...

but she still treat me like tat...

sian sia...

today is a damm tired day...

go to work in the morning till 6pm den rush back hme to bath and go play soccer wid all my besti near bowen secondary school there...

was like so long nv play le lor...

my leg is like recovering le...

can play soccer and can run abit...

sometime i reali wish to keep myself busy...so tat wont think so fast and time passes fast...

where is de love i want ...

i reali dun know...

can someone pls tell me...

haiz...

i realise tat...when i was born out so long le...till now...i like nv happy before...

other out there cant see when i am happy or sad...

i alway keep to myself...

i reali dun know who can chat wid...

haiz..

wat i nid is her...

reali..

only she tat bring back my smile...

but she already not de first time i know de her le..

sian...

tml got to go work again...

so sian..

boring sia over sub-court...

reali wish to faster end my ns life...

was like from last last week stress till now le...

ytd another stress thing cme out again...

my atm keep deducting money sia...

i also dun know y...

deduct till left $3plus le sia...from $224 till like tat...

wth right...

y everything bad keep happening of me...

am i so unlucky from de day i born out...

god...pls help me out...

pls get all de stress away from me...

let me be a happy guy and has a happiness relationship...

haiz..

just wanna have fun;

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